MEET THE COACHES
The crew calling every game from the comfiest seats in the house.
Bobby McGee
6x time, All-Pro Couch Coach. Coaching every game from the recliner since 2000. Never been right about a game, never stopped talking anyways. Bears, Cubs, Bulls, and Blackhawks (sometimes)
Coach Tales
2x Couch Coach of the Year, 5x Beer Drinking Champion, and the only thing colder than the beer I drink are my sports takes. Anything is possible on this side of the couch. Packers, OSU, White Sox, Bulls.
Coach Pete
All-NBA First Team Couch Analyst. Grew up studying the triangle offense. JJ Redick enthusiast. Going to miss some of these takes like Patrick Williams, but will hit a couple shots like JR Smith when needed. Bulls, Cubs, Bears and wherever LeBron goes.
Coach Guru Jeas
Somehow still in college at 25, somehow still the loudest guy in every group chat. Coach Guru Jeas hands out hot takes like flyers on the quad — confident, nonstop, and wrong roughly 100% of the time. Fuels every argument with dining-hall coffee and the kind of misplaced confidence you can only get from going 0-for-your-whole-life on predictions. Survived a 121-loss White Sox season purely out of spite. His teams are all either rebuilding or straight-up apologizing, which makes him a certified expert in “wait till next year.” White Sox, Blackhawks, Bulls, Bears — a starter pack for a lifetime of pain.
Want a Seat on the Couch?
We’re always recruiting new coaches with strong opinions and a working recliner. More join the roster soon.